Day 3...so far

Again, thanks so much for all the love and support.  My time at the computer is very minimal, and I haven't been able to read all the sweet notes on here and on Facebook.  What we have been able to glance at has been super encouraging...and we look forward to hearing from all of you when we can catch a breath.

I have a few minutes now, and Brandon is trying to get a quick nap in.  He is sick, so please pray for that.  That, on top of sleeplessness and everything else, hasn't been very easy to deal with.

Last night, as I mentioned, Brandon came here on the ambulance.  I was discharged a few hours later, and was blessed to have good friends with me.  A good friend, Trevor, stayed with Brandon here and another good friend, Kyle, took care of Caleb while his sweet wife stayed here with me.  Chrissy and Denise helped me leave, drove me over here, bought me lots of care supplies I needed, and then came up to the family room that the amazing people at UNM had provided to allow us a place to crash for the night in light of the emergency transfer. 

We were immediately briefed on the situation by two doctors here.   It was again very hard to hear, and the doctors were hesitant to proceed with the surgery.  But, they were willing.  Earlier in the evening, the surgeon had told Brandon that he didn't think he would be willing to perform the surgery on him due to what the possible repercussions could be.   So, Brandon had been waiting on me to get here so that we could talk through what our remaining options were...which most likely meant taking Jude off the meds that were keeping his heart alive.  Later, just before I got here, he had changed his mind and had said that it might not be so very difficult and that he was willing to do it.  So, we had a decision to make again.

The surgery would be relieving pressure on the right side of his brain by removing the largest collection of blood.  There were still other areas of bleeding, and they thought that those might actually be inside the brain instead of on top of the brain.  So, there would be permanent brain damage no matter what the outcome of this surgery.  They were also concerned that relieving pressure on one side of the brain would allow blood to fill more heavily on the other side of the brain.  So, even the outcome of the surgery wouldn't be ideal.  The other option was to just make him comfortable...as they called it. 

So, at 4 in the morning, they took him into the operating room to perform the surgery.  We went to sleep for an hour and then made it back down to wait for the rest of the surgery.  After some time, the surgeon came back in to let us know that the surgery went well.  They were able to drain 20cc of blood and the brain moved back to fill the space...back to where it belonged.  We were grateful for the news...and then went to sleep. 

Today has been a relatively calm day.  Jude has been stable and is on morphine.  He seems responsive to our touch.  The CT scan results don't look good, just as the MRI yesterday didn't.  But, we could see improvement as a result of the surgery, and we were glad to see that things haven't gotten worse.  We are going to be better briefed at five as to what is next and what the results mean.  He is getting an EEG right now, and so they will learn more from that as well.  As I said, there are three other areas of bleeding, but they think they are in the brain and not on top of it.  So, they didn't touch them during the operation...and from what I understand, the plan is to just wait and see what happens. 

But, little babies' brains are resilient.  I grew up babysitting a little girl, Jessica, who had much of her brain removed due to seizures.  She had cerebral palsy (which is what Jude now is facing) and her life has been an incredible blessing to so many, many people.  I believe too that this is the goodness of God demonstrated to me...in the example I have in her.  Please pray that our little guy's brain will recover what has been lost...just as it did in Jess' life. 


I am currently struggling with the lack of time I am getting to see my little boy(s).  There have been so many things to do and it is hard to know how much time to spend where.  I miss Caleb tons, but he has been in great hands.  It is very difficult being away from him.  He hasn't even met his brother yet...due to being sick and not allowed in the NICU.  Please pray for that as well. 

These notes have all been written in between Jude and friends and doctors and lactation consultants and pumping and everything else.  So, sorry if it's not coherent.  There is so much to share...and so many of you care.  So, we want to keep everyone updated...and we desperately need the prayers.  Thanks again. 

I am going to go see our littlest boy right now.  We love you guys!