Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Six Months

Six months.
How much our lives have changed in just six short months...

As we were watching a video of Jude today while we were supposed to be doing school, Caleb and I both began to cry.  As I held him, he told me, "Mommy, I don't want my brother to grow up in heaven.  I don't want to wait my whole life to see him again."

I read this today:

"If God had told me some time ago that He was about to make me as happy as I could be in this world, and then had told me that He should begin by crippling me in arm or limb, and removing me from all my usual sources of enjoyment, I should have thought it a very strange mode of accomplishing His purpose.  And yet, how is His wisdom manifest even in this!  For if you should see a man shut up in a closed room, idolizing a set of lamps and rejoicing in their light, and you wished to make him truly happy, you would begin by blowing out all his lamps; and then throw open the shutters to let in the light of Heaven."
-Samuel Rutherford, as quoted by Joni Eareckson Tada
in O Love That Will Not Let me Go by Nancy Guthrie
Joni goes on to write: 

Suffering makes us want to go to heaven.  Broken homes and broken hearts crush our illusion that earth can keep its promises;  that it can really satisfy.  Only the hope of Heaven can truly move our passions off the world - which God knows could never fulfill us anyway - and place them where they will find their glorious fulfillment.

Someday we will see more clearly why God chose to fulfill His purpose for Jude's life in just 67 days instead of 67 years.  In the meantime, it is my hope and prayer that we will allow the Lord to fulfill His purpose in ours...however many years remain.  And, I thank God for how He has used our littlest to point our hearts towards our true Home.

Thank you for praying for us.  Would you please pray specifically for Caleb?  He seems to be struggling more lately.

Jude and Caleb on Speedboats (by Caleb)


amyfaith said...

will pray for caleb knowing God will help Him and loves him. love his drawing. love and prayers for all the pelton family & mom. ♥

missy said...

powerful, powerful quotes. i see how you are basking in the light of heaven shining down on you as you have been sitting in the darkness. what powerful quotes. especially for someone like me who is clinging to and idolizing those lamps in the room.

yes i will pray for caleb.

Holly said...

Happy six month birthday Jude! We love you. And we love Caleb too, and are trusting God as He authors his story as well. How wonderful to see God drawing Caleb's heart toward heaven through his brother. Keep pointing him to the cross where the answers to his questions are found. Love you guys so much!

tasha said...

Thanks for sharing these thing with us, Mandy. Happy 6 months to Jude! We will be praying for you all, and for Caleb.

Jen said...

How do you do it?? How do you get on with life without hating life or the loss of your little guy? I have not lost a child but I have lost and even though I know I should forgive and move on I find it hard, NO VERY HARD to do this. I know God is not happy with that but I don't seem to be able to help it. I guess that is why I follow your Blog so closely. For if you can than I surely I should be able to. I could not lose either of my girls and survive. Watching you knowing you are a woman, mother, wife helps me know I can do it one day too. Please give Brandon and Caleb my love.

Kellie said...

What a wonderful little man you have there. I've never met my nieces or nephews who were aborted, but I don't want to wait my whole life to meet them either - Caleb said it perfectly. Poor buddy. He's in my prayers.

We're so excited to meet Jude someday too. God delights in him - he's probably one of His favorites. :)

Julia said...

Oh Mandy that made me cry so much. Thank you for continually reminding us of the Lords purpose in suffering. I loved the Nancy Guthrie video. I think losing a child draws our hearts so much closer to our true home. I've been re-reading Heaven and anticipating it more lately. Give Caleb hugs from us!

kktennessee said...

God has given you so much wisdom, Mandy. Your post is beautiful and true. I will pray for Caleb. Oh, and his jet boats are awesome. Cool kid. :) Karen

Andrea Bullok said...

Will pray for Caleb specifically! As adults we struggle to understand - can't imagine trying to process it as a 5 year old. Thank you for continuing to share and the reminders that this world is not our home. We continue to think of and pray for your sweet family each day.

Mandy said...

I wish I could respond to each of you individually. It means so much to me that you care and that you are praying. We are so blessed to have such friends. Thank you. :-)

Stephanie, Daneel, Avalon & Julie said...

So sweet, Mandy. Praying for all of you and especially for Caleb. Can't imagine what it's like trying to process through all of this with him. But I know God is holding you guys so tightly and close to his heart. Praying for incredible wisdom and discernment, especially in conversations with Caleb. LOVE you guys.

Post a Comment