I struggle with this. It is why I stopped blogging for over a year. It is why I stopped posting photos to Facebook. What people thought of me...whether it be a photo I posted or an update I shared...had become too important. I judged the quality of my photo based on how many comments I received or didn't receive. So, I stopped. I posted much less on Facebook, and I took a break from blogging. I started again only after Jude's diagnosis...and with much prayer.
The online world is full of perception management. We present a public image that doesn't paint a true picture. It's a false reality, and I am guilty of trying to dwell in it. I post only the photos that I look best in. I make sure to frame my photo so you can't see the messy laundry in the background. And, if I am struggling with depression, I probably won't post on that day.
Just as giving is really the only true antidote to materialism, it seems that sharing some of the uglier, broken parts could help free us of this incessant temptation to impress. And, we might just find that His light shines brighter in our brokenness.
So, that's why I love my friend Holly's idea. In order to combat this struggle, she wrote a wonderful post called Confessions. And, in response to popular demand, she has created a link-up for us to do it as well.
So, here are a few things I would like to confess:
I am terrible at following through with things. Take my New Year's Resolutions for example. At this point, I am way behind on my chronological Bible reading. Getting up early has been overall wonderful but has taken a huge hit these past two weeks (I was up until 4:30am last night). And, that Project 365 thing? Yeah, I didn't make it much past February. :-)
I am a hypocrite. I often find myself telling Caleb not to do something and then I do it after he leaves the room. I limit his video game time to 20 minutes, and then I spend hours wasting time on the internet. Tonight, I told him he could have 2 more jelly beans because "they aren't good for him," and then I ate a fistful. I do things like that all.the.time. I think if I followed the instructions I give him, then I would probably live a much healthier life.
There are so many more. Some I will leave for a future post. If you'd like to share, head to Holly's blog and link up your post. If you don't have a blog, feel free to share in her comments. Now please excuse me while I go finish Rainbow Valley. :-)